My boyfriends mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer, and I don't know what to get her since it's a very hard time. Or should I just get her a card saying sorry?
Cancer - 10 Answers
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1 :
Get her a small plant and say that you are there to support her in any way possible (if you really are, that is). Don't say sorry, that might make her feel that you feel sorry for her that she has this and may not make it.
2 :
Those with cancer are still the same person they always were. I would give her an uplifting type card. Spiritual wise. She is going to be praying a lot, and your help is a great thing.
3 :
Is she going to have surgery or radiation or chemo? If she is having all or any of those, I'd get her some kind of short fuzzy and warm short robes...short like they come to your waist.....to wear in bed or in where she's having chemo (ladies #1 complaint during chemo is they are cold). When you are ill and in/out of the hospital those come in really handy for people in bed. They come in pretty colors too. I have seen them at Sears among other places.
4 :
u should go to the ellentv.com websiteand send her an e mail with your question and she eill give u some ideas.
5 :
If they are religious donate to her church in her honor, You don't say how ell you know her, but I would think a "Thinking of You" card would be appropriate. If you've ever seen or heard of the Chicken Soup for The Soul books, they are wonderful for times of stress and doubt, you can get them at any book store.
6 :
best gift would be ur empathy ( please look up definition if u don't know )(not the same as sympathy) an encourageing card that lets her know u care would also be welcome.this will let her know that she need not feel alone in this time...also remember that this will be very hard time for ur boyfriend as well ,so try to be understanding of mood swings from both ,as this will also affect you. as someone faces the "unknown" there will alternately be times of hope and times of fear and there will be periods of denial ,times of questioning "why me?',anger,and ultimately acceptance.the greatest gift any of us can give is our sincere and compassionate love and care for our fellow human beings. also remember that this "condition" is NOT the automatic "death sentence" that it was yrs ago ...there have been MANY advances in treatments,surgerys........may GOD bless u for ur willingness to reach out to someone in need.
7 :
Just be there for her and for him. Sometimes, just having someone there is the best medicine.
8 :
No "sorry" card, please! It's not an automatic death sentence, but having cancer is still scary because you just don't know what's going to happen. When I was being treated (surgery, chemo), I was part of a group called "Chemo Angels" (you can find it online) in which a couple of volunteers (my "angels") would send me emails, uplifting cards, small gifts, etc. nearly every week. I thought this was very nice and I loved being remembered frequently during the entire course of my treatment. Also, DON'T avoid her just because you feel bad and aren't sure what to day. The worst part of cancer treatment for me was watching how fast my "friends" disappeared when I needed them most. I know people are afraid of saying the wrong thing, but there's nothing you could say that is worse than just avoiding that person all together. Your friend's mom is still the same person: Give her something you know she'll like, based on what you know about HER, not about the illness she's facing. Oh, I'd also avoid any gifts that are breast-cancer related (stuff with pink bows, etc.). Not everyone likes those because they feel like, "I'm still me, I'm not breast cancer!" Once one has successfully completed treatment, I think it's easier to sort of integrate that experience into one's identity, but during treatment and the stages of grief that may accompany it, it's not so easy, and the person may not want constant reminders of the disease and uncertainty about how treatment will go. Best wishes, M.
9 :
Get her the book "Just Get Me Through This" by Deborah Cohen. It's a guide for going through the process that is breast cancer. It gives information and sensible advice, and is humorous. Also include your card idea, but focus on hoping she'll feel better soon.
10 :
Don't get her anything that has smell to it because they can still become sick from the aromas. No perfume, plants, soaps, lotions, etc. Don't get her sympathy cards, you want to keep her in good spirits. Order her a fruit basket or even give her a stuffed animal. Maybe a favorite DVD.
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