A dear friend was recently diagnosed with stage 3b breast cancer and had an immediate double mastectomy. They also removed some of her lymph nodes. She had her first chemo session yesterday and she doesn't like to talk about what's going on very much. In what ways can I help, support, and love her?
Cancer - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Just be there for her. Help her with her chores etc. When she is ready to talk she will open up to you.
2 :
a cancer is such a disease that anybody can be severly depressed ...and now she has stage 3b so god bless her ...she might be depressed over its prognosis and progessivity ..it has now metastasised so accordingly 40% of patients with this stage survives 5 years with proper treatment ...she might be or not knowing this fact ...so try to talk her and make her happy anyway cause cancer is depressive and generally produces suicidal tendency in patients..talk to her .........god bless her..........
3 :
Clean her house, make her meals, arrange for her to be picked up from treatment, pick up her kids, those kinds of things. Things that take worries off her mind and allow her to slow down. Tell her you love her and if it gets advanced and she seems to be open to it, offer to be there for her family if you are willing.
4 :
My mom's sister just found out she has breast cancer and had to have a Lumpectomy, she told my mom that even though the cancer was in a very early stage she is still very scared that it might have spread or will come back. My mom & I told her that we will be here for her no matter if it is to be there physically or if she just want's to talk. Sometimes just to know that someone is there to lean on means more than anything else. You sound like a very caring person & a good friend, though she may not want to talk about it much, just her knowing that you are there is comforting. Jessica
5 :
Being a co-survivor isn't always easy. We have to understand that our loved one is on a very personal journey and sometimes we feel "shut out". One of the best resources for advice for co-survivors is Susan G. Komen for the Cure. I've included the link below. There are some wonderful ideas from survivors about things we can do to help. The earlier writer who said cook meals, etc., had some great suggestions. If this person has a family, cooking meals might be a huge help, especially since chemo can make the smell of food really unpleasant. Picking up laundry and delivering it done and folded is also a huge help. Chemo can also make a person cold, especially while receiving the treatment. Find a "lap robe" and a special card that just lets your friend know you love her and are there for her. That was one of my sister's favorite gifts. Another thing I did was buy scarves and whenever my sis or mother and I went out, I tied my head in a "turban" just like they did. Be careful of anything with strong smells (even flowers or laundry additives) and understand that food for your friend will not taste "right" during treatment. Don't be offended if she doesn't seem to "appreciate" your efforts sometimes. She'll be tired, angry and scared and it might make her less than "social" right now. Most of all, don't change the way you've always treated her. She's still "her" and she needs to learn to live with the changes in her body without having to come to terms with changes in her friendships because of it.
6 :
You might find some ideas on www.after-cancer.com Good luck and your friend is lucky to have you supporting her. Verite R
7 :
Alot of people won't ask for help so it is nice to actually do something rather than say let me know if you need help. If she has children take them to school or activities, help with their homework, babysit them. Turn up with a casserole or bake a cake for her, Do her ironing, or any other household chores. Go to the supermarket for her or mow her lawn. Everyone is different in what sort of mental support they need but everyone needs meals cooking, laundry doing etc. And when you have finished before you leave sit down with her and have a cup of tea and chat, about anything and allow her to steer the conversation to her cancer if she wants to.
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